I’ve noticed the tendency that I used to have to turn away from situations that made me feel uncomfortable, that pushed my buttons or seemed to invoke involuntary emotional responses. My usual reaction would be to run away and put my head in the sand or maybe react quite passionately toward the person that had pressed my dynamite button (these persons tended to be close family members or a partner. Sometimes it was a close friend). It was like these feelings could unearth a can of worms within me, and it felt to me like I could not handle the intense emotions these feelings seemed to impart; nor did my mind understand what these emotions wished to express. And yet my heart knew something more.
More recently with my yoga practice I’ve been cultivating a somatic awareness to be with these unconscious aspects of myself and hold them. Through various techniques I’ve learned like shadow dancing (Derek Rydall), power practices (Claire Zammit), Prana Samyana meditation (Dr. Kumar, Traditional Yoga) I’ve been learning to turn towards that which is calling to be heard, seen and expressed. The parts of me that feel sad, upset, hurt, ignored, selfish and so on. I realize that these children like parts of my unconscious reside in various parts of my body. That many of them have a child like innocence to them and they are simply crying out to be seen and heard. They are asking for some tender loving compassion, care and attention. The more I try to repress them the more they wish to express. And so as I turn towards them with both courage, compassion tenderness, curiosity, love and vulnerability I can start to recognise the gifts and wisdom they each come to share. I feel especially grateful for my transformative pilgrimage to New Zealand, which has been catalyst for me in integrating such profound deep soulful work. I notice it is a daily practice. I notice how some days and easier than others. How sometimes I just need sometime alone and sometimes I need to be around others.
If you want to find out more about my experiences and how you too can turn towards that which is calling to be heard, seen and expressed we will begin to explore some of these experiences and practices at our workshop with on Sunday 19th May in Liverpool. Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness, Transformation Workshop along with Sion Jones a local Mindfulness and Yoga Teacher. We do still have a few early bird tickets available. I look forward to sharing more soon. Do feel free to share any feedback and comments.
In the meantime I’d like to leave with you The Guesthouse by the Sufi Mystic Jaladin Rumi. Thanks for reading.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Artist image by Masha